Last night I went to see "Arthur et les Minimoys" with Ian and Alisha. The movie was great, a little cliché sometimes but it's a kid's movie and for once, the kid in the movie didn't make want to kill him. Plus Mylène was dubbing one of the main characters, so the movie gets big points in my book just for that. Anyway, I spent a very nice evening, but after dropping Ian at his place, all hell broke loose. The car, which was fine up until that point, suddenly started to vibrate (for lack of a more technical word) every time I wanted to pass the fourth gear, so I had to drive home at 40-50 km/h with my distress signal on on a road where the speed limit is 90 km/h. The light that was blinking on the dashboard turned out to be the "your motor is too hot" warning, but even after we let the car cool down, it still refused to stop shaking (in fact, the shaking had become worse). Thankfully my parents didn't blame this on me (I really had nothing to do with it, I didn't crash the car or anything :-)). After a long, long debate, we (well, they) decided that my mother would take my car to work today, and that I would drive her car to the garage, then take the bus to Valenciennes, then the train to Lille (in other words, 1h30 of public transport instead of the 35 minutes it usually takes by car). And then there's this big complicated plan for tomorrow, but I won't go into it because, well, boring ! Needless to say, I wasn't thrilled about the whole thing, but hey, it's not like a have a choice. 

Then this morning, at exactly 7:23 (= I was still sleeping), my cell phone rang : it was Auchan. I still don't get why they would call me so early (they apologized for it but didn't give me a reason), but apparently "there is a problem with my contract, could I possibly start tomorrow?". Well, once again, it's not like I have a choice, so I said yes. It doesn't change my plans to go to Lille today, but still, this is so annoying, I don't even have my "Auchan outfit" (they were supposed to give it to me tomorrow, which would have given me time to wash it before I had to wear it) and they even were unable to tell me how long I would have to be there (basically I arrive at 14:00ish and I leave at 19h00 or at 20h00). But hey, I should be glad, I get to spend time with HWSNBN (he who shall not be named) and YKW (you know who) two days earlier than what was originally planned. When waking up to such great news, any sane person would take it as a sign that the day is not shaping up to be a good one and would go back to bed and stay there until the next day. Well, sanity has never been my strong suit, so I got up and my parents gave me the first potentially good news: there is a chance that the garage could loan my mother a car while they fix hers, so this means that I would get to keep my car which would be great! But I don't want to get my hopes up just yet, I should know more in the next hour.

Oh, and on a totally unrelated subject, I just found out that the first season of "Sabrina the Teeange Witch" will be released on DVD on March 6, and I'm really excited because I used to watch it everyday day and I still have it on tapes somewhere, so I can't wait to own it on DVD :-)

This song just started playing on my iPod, and man (God, I sound like Rocket Mason), I forgot how much I can relate to it, that's freaky, just change the "she"s to "he"s and you could call this song "You oughta know, C". 

I want you to know, that I'm happy for you   I'm not, actually, but if it's meant to be ironic, then yes I am.
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me    He's older indeed... Alternate line : "A botoxed version of me" or "An uglier version of me"
Is she perverted like me   Doubtful... although he really is a manipulative little know-it-all
Would she go down on you in a theatre   OK, I never actually did that in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother   Yeah, if you want your child to be beaten up every day at school because of ITs ugly mugg!

Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no  But it was enough for you to cheat on me so yay, it's not so bad!
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died   Alanis is right, you did say that!
But you're still alive   Well, new and "improved" C is anyway

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know  You already know, but a little reminder never hurt anyone, right?

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know 
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced  It really was, although the "I don't love you anymore" coming out of the blue had a much more devastating effect...
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her  (I threw up a little in mouth) I don't even wanna go there !

Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, til you died
But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade   To be honnest, I don't even know if you still think about me... and that pisses me off and saddens me at the same time.
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

The tone of this article is completly different from the tone of the previous one, I know, but my mood's constantly changing (from depression to anger to hope to "whatever", and then to depression again), so at least this journal is showing all theses sides of me. 

Auchan called today (well, the manager of the “rayon épicerie” called, but he’s part of the “Auchan monster” so I refuse to refer to him by name) and apparently, I start working on Friday, wich is two days earlier than I had anticipated. Urgh, I can’t wait for those two weeks to be over! For now (and I think that’s going to be my strategy for the rest of the month), I’m going to focus on all the DVDs I’m gonna be able to buy with my Auchan money… But when even the prospect of updating my TV shows collection isn’t enough to lift my spirit, you know that there’s something really wrong! It’s not that the job is particularly hard (mind-numbing yes, but not hard), basically you just spend seven hours stocking and restocking shelves, and if you don’t count the occasionnal annoying customer, you pretty much don’t have to talk to anyone. The reason I’m dreading this job so much is because my girlfriend, well my EX-girlfriend (I should be used to the “ex” part by now) also works there… with her new boyfriend (or the guy she dumped me for, or the devil, or the ugly substitute, or the son of a bitch who went after her when he knew she was dating someone). The funny (not funny “ha ha”) thing is I didn’t even apply for this job, I send out resumes everywhere except to that particular store, THEY called me (I worked there two years ago, and apparently I’m such a gifted stockboy that I made a lasting impression), and I’m not really in a position to turn down money (well, who is really?), so I said yes. For over a month now, I’ve been able to keep it together (yes, that depressing mood I’m in most of the time is me keeping it together… scary huh ?) by staying C-free (“C” is what I used to call my ex-girlfriend, it’s the first letter of her name), but I’m afraid of what will happen when I see her. God, I really don’t want to see her! I don’t want to talk to her, I don’t even want to know what is going on in her life! And that’s sad, because not so long ago, she was my whole world, and I mean that litterally. She was the one person I thought I could trust more than anyone, she was the one person who knew everything about me, she was the one person I thought would never hurt me. We were together and that was all that mattered. I don’t know if I believe in soulmates, but if they exist, I think she was mine. Now? I don’t know… I think I still love her despite everything that happened, but shouldn’t the fact that I don’t want to see her tell me that what I love is the memory of what we once had? Yet, if she told me that she realized that she made a mistake and wanted to get back together, I would say yes in a heartbeat. Urgh, I feel like I’m unable to move on, which is getting pretty pathetic at this point. Do you believe in destiny? I don’t, but if I did, well…: I get a job I didn’t apply for, which is going to force me to see my ex-girlfriend, and I start working on the day before what would have been our third year anniversary… Coincidence? Maybe… or maybe not. Damn it, I want my Christmas miracle! Whao, that really is a pointless post, and I should probably wrap it up so, for the record, I will say this (and I will only say it once): I can’t shake the feeling that somehow C and I are meant to be together, in fact I’m almost positive that we are. Maybe the future will prove me wrong, it probably will, but that’s how I’ve been feeling since the breakup, and maybe that’s why I can’t completely move on. Oh well, time will tell I suppose.

C'était Board Games Night chez Chardy et Dana hier soir, voici un résumé en images de la soirée :-)

On commence avec le Monopoly (édition Valenciennes s'il-vous-plaît :-) qui nous a occupé pendant presque trois heures ! Au bout d'un moment on a décidé de s'arrêter, sinon on aurait encore pu continuer quelques temps... résultats : Ian en tête grace à ses hôtels dans les cases rouges (Henri-Martin etc..., je ne sais plus quels sont les noms choisis pour l'édition locale), suivi de près par Chardy avec ses hôtels dans les cases jaunes, moi en troisième position avec mes lots de quatre maisons dans les cases bleues ciel (vous savez, les moins chères ;-), Drew quatrième, Dana cinquième (mais il faut quand même l'applaudir, elle a réussi à tenir longtemps avec seulement deux propriétés, les deux cases mauves qui se trouvent juste après la case départ ;-)) et c'est Alisha qui a déclaré banqueroute la première.

Ian, que l'alcool n'a pas empêché de gagner (;-))  aux prises avec Alisha, avec Chardy au milieu.	Dana (ou Daner :-)) tire une carte chance sous les regards attentifs de Drew, Ian and Chardy.
My pride and joy : my hard-earned money (qui a diminué après plusieurs séjours dans des hôtels !)...	...et mon petit domaine, qui m'a permi de rester à flots jusqu'à la fin :-)

Dana (avec Chardy prêt à buzzer) tente de faire deviner je ne sais plus quel mot à Drew et Ian, et ça fait bien rire Alisha :-)	Dana's clues leave Ian and Drew clueless. Oh my god ! My first english pun !
Desperate Dana !!! And Alisha with her lollipop stick.	J'adore cette photo d'Alisha et de Dana !!!

Puisque Barbara persiste à m’appeler Griffor et que Delphine semble déjà avoir une sacrée opinion de moi, et aussi pour rester dans l’esprit de ce blog alternatif sans censure, voici mon test Griffor ! (ne vous réjouissez pas trop vite, il n’est pas aussi croustillant que celui de Vanessa :)). Pour ceux qui ne connaissent pas le pricipe, il s'agit d'une série de questions pour déterminer son niveau de pureté, tout simplement. Allez, c’est parti !

...ou comment parler de soi à la deuxième personne...

Il y a des fois où vous avez l'impression d'aller bien : vous sortez, vous reprenez vos anciennes activités, vous en découvrez de nouvelles, vous voyez vos amis, vous faites de nouvelles rencontres...

Et soudain un petit truc vous refait basculer. Ca peut-être n'importe quoi, une chanson, une voiture qui ressemble à la sienne, un film ou une série que vous avez vu pour la dernière fois avec elle, etc... Difficile après de chasser les idées noires, surtout quand il est une heure du matin et que vous êtes seul dans la chambre qui a été votre sanctuaire à tous les deux pendant trois ans... C'est dans ces moment-là que les envies d'en finir qui ont rythmées vos premières semaines post-rupture reviennent au galop, et que vous en venez à regretter de ne pas avoir utilisé la lame de rasoir qui s'était retrouvée dans votre main un soir de septembre...

J'y ai déjà répondu sur le blog d'Ian, mais bon, ça me donnera l'occasion de poster mon premier article en anglais... il fallait faire une liste des sept chansons (why seven by the way?) qu'on écoute en ce moment, peut importe le genre ou même si c'est de la bonne musique :-)

1. "Il N'Y A Pas D'Ailleurs" by Mylène Farmer : I love 'em all, but for some time now I've been playing this song over and over again... In this song, Mylène tries to convince one of her friends not to commit suicide by saying that "il n'y a pas d'ailleurs". It's a beautiful haunting song.
2. "Irreplaceable" by Beyoncé : somebody had the brilliant idea to send me this song, and it played on my iPod for a long time... "To the left, to the left !!!"
3. "Live to Tell" by Madonna : I've seen the Confessions Tour on TV recently, and I loved the version of this song in it. But seriously, there are many Madonna songs I could have chosen.
4. "A Contre-Courants" by Alizée :  Her voice isn't spectacular or anything, but most of her songs are fun, and all the lyrics were written by Mylène, which is a big plus for me :-) In this song, Alizée talks about her ex boyfriend with whom she hopes to reunite.
5. "Colorblind" by The Counting Crows : It's such a beautiful song ! There are so many great memories attached to this song.. The problem is it's so sad I haven't been able to listen to it in a while... (so I guess technically I shouldn't put it on a list of my current songs, but hey, it's my list, I can do whatever I want :-)). 
6. "Les Plus Mauvaises Nuit" by Indochine : "Je voudrais juste me coucher, dormir contre toi. Je ne te toucherai pas, juste m'endormir avec toi. Mais je ne t'appartiens plus, Tu ne m'appartiens plus, On ne se connaît plus. Mais je ne t'appartiens plus, Tu ne m'appartiens plus, On aurait disparu"... When I first listened to it a few months ago, it hit a little too close to home. I still find it difficult to listen to it sometimes : no wonder I get depressed !!!
7. "El Tango de Roxanne" by Ewan McGregor & co. : I recently watched "Moulin Rouge" again and it reminded me how much I love this song !